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I miss my wife, Tails. I miss her a lot. I'll be back.
~ One of Eggman's most famous quotes, and a foreshadowing of what's to come in the Dark Story.
I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! That's right, he took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out, and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was (imitating Shadow) "THIS BIG" (regular voice) and I said "that's disgusting"! So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick! It's the size of this walnut, except WAY smaller! And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like! (Eggman makes explosion sounds with his mouth) That's right, baby! All point, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what!? I'm gonna fuck the Earth! That's right, this is what you get, my SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher! I'm pissing on the MOOOOOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA!? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DRRROPLLLETS hit the fucking Earth! Now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!
~ Eggman's infamous rant as he outs Shadow on Twitter and proceeds to piss on the moon, blowing half of it up.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik, better known as Dr. Eggman, is the main antagonist of SnapCube's Sonic the Hedgehog dubs, part of the Real-Time Fandub Games series.

He serves as the main antagonist of the Sonic Adventure 2 and the Limits of Man duology (as the main antagonist of the Hero Story, the central protagonist of the Dark Story and the secondary antagonist of the Final Story) and Sonic Riders and the Necessity of Change, the secondary antagonist of Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) and the Growth of an Industry, and the central antagonist of Shadow the Hedgehog Goes to Hell.

He is an evil, incompetent and incredibly angry scientist who's motives vary between dubs, but usually involve taking over something, most likely the world. He is the arch-nemesis of Sonic the Hedgehog and, to a lesser extent, Shadow the Hedgehog.

He is voiced by Alfred Coleman/PaperBoxHouse.

Biography[]

Sonic Adventure 2[]

Eggman is first seen at the beginning of the video attempting to escape from a military base, but as time goes on he becomes more paranoid and insane, as the robots become sentient and learn his name. After at least three years, Eggman finally manages to escape and tries to log on to his Twitter, but to no avail. He then uses a Chaos Emerald as a last resort, but this unleashes Shadow the Hedgehog instead. Eggman is amazed by Shadow's sudden appearance and asks him to join his team, but Shadow refuses and leaves to fuck Eggman's wife, leaving the latter enraged and dumbfounded. He later appears during Knuckles and Rouge's argument, attempting to steal the Master Emerald before it shatters.

Eggman then heads to his hidden pyramid base and logs on to his Twitter account to see what his wife Martha has been up to. Instead, he finds live footage of Shadow's dick, including the hedgehog saying he's fucked Eggman's wife already and doesn't plan on stopping. The doctor later finds himself first softly singing the first verse of his version of "Mad World", before suddenly screaming in pure anger as he finds himself in the military base once again, proclaiming "I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN!!!" before going on a robot-destroying rampage in utter panic.

Eggman returns the Space Colony ARK and finds Shadow logged on to his Twitter account. Infuriated that Shadow has fucked his wife, he threatens to kill him (and then kill him again), before Shadow uses the Chaos Emerald he stole to lock Eggman's account. Though the scientist is horrified at first, he then begins to laugh as he reveals that he has 70 alternative accounts, but Shadow and Rouge quickly expose them all as the latter reveals that she also fucked his wife and (somehow) found a Chaos Emerald in her vagina.

At Prison Island, Eggman reluctantly forms a team with Rouge and Shadow, demanding them both to find Sonic (who he calls their local drug-dealer) before he blows up the island with them on it. Later again, Eggman is seen with his team when Amy interrupts them before running off. Eggman quickly corners her as she owes him an overdue debt of $100, but Tails arrives just in time. During their fight, Eggman angrily questions where Amy went (since she was right in front of him), but Tails somehow breaks his bones by shooting him. Near the end of their fight, Eggman is critically injured and threatens to call the police, to which Tails reveals that he is a member of. After the fight, Eggman sadly explains that he misses his wife to Tails, before he returns to his harsh demeanor and threatens to come back.

Eggman later calls Shadow on his radio to question him if he has found Sonic yet, whom he calls "that goddamn blue marble mother fucking son of a bitch" before Shadow tells him that he'll change the radio's frequency to his wife's voice. He later calls Shadow again after his fight with Sonic to flee the island before he blows it up, but not before wishing that the two hedgehogs would die for ruining his life. Shadow manages to escape, while Sonic does the same.

After returning to the Space Colony ARK, Eggman interrupts Rouge and Shadow's conversation about Hot Topic before Shadow leaves, explaining that he pissed on Eggman's wife, leaving the doctor shocked and outraged. Later that night, a drunk Eggman hacks into every news source on Earth and exposes Shadow for what he did and also telling everyone that he's taking their stocks and also is taking over BestBuy, Victora's Secret and the news, as well as getting revenge on him by performing his most infamous action yet: blowing up half of the moon with his "super laser piss" and cursing out Obama, declaring that he "pissed on the moon" before setting a countdown of 23 hours for the piss droplets to hit the earth, all while threatening them to get out of his sight before he "pisses" on them as well and also hopes they all die since it's going to be like Evangelion.

The next day, Eggman comes to an intervention arranged by Shadow and Rouge, utterly drunk and denying responsibility for any of his previous actions. Rouge shows the doctor a newspaper, though Eggman is infuriated that Tails has the weed while he doesn't, and complaining about his body moving on its own; he then walks off in a drunken rage. Later on, Eggman hacks into the president's TV while calling himself "The Glitch" and threatening to release his new album "Cracking Eggs". At Sky Hill, Eggman contacts Shadow when he's talking to Sonic and berates him for talking on the same phone line as his arch-nemesis.

Eggman then in his base confronts Sonic and yells at him due to the hedgehog fucking his wife, as well as somehow his crops. After he takes off into space, Eggman starts shouting angrily due to the revelation that his nudes have been leaked on Twitter before sternly addressing Shadow and calmly leaving in his Egg-Walker after almost giving away the hedgehog's true origin. Eggman then orders Rouge to not talk to Sonic anymore and also yells at her to stop calling him on their "evil phone line". He later points a gun to Amy's face before once again becoming enraged once the female hedgehog reveals that she recognizes the doctor due to his dick being revealed on Twitter. Eggman shouts at Shadow again over the phone as he overheard his conversation with Rouge talking about his dick, but the hedgehog simply tells the doctor to piss off.

After capturing Amy, Sonic infiltrates the ARK and attempts to fool him with a piss rock, but the doctor ensnares Sonic in a capsule due to knowing that he'll fart, and sends him into space to kill him. After Sonic is supposedly killed, Eggman threatens to kill Tails, who is welcoming of Eggman's threats due to Sonic being presumed dead. However, he fails in the fight against him, although he claims to know who Tails' mother is.

Eggman escapes with the yellow Chaos Emerald (though he calls it a piss rock) and discovers on his computer that his father Gerald has contacted him, threatening to kill everyone on the planet for exposing all of Eggman's nudes. Eggman barges into the room Sonic and his friends are in, absolutely furious at everyone for fucking his wife, whom he had divorced 3 hours prior. Eggman continues to ramble as a text document appears on a nearby computer screen, displaying the latter's frustrations with his wife, whom he claims to have made a machine to pleasure her, but she went to fuck Sonic and his friends and was now targeting the world. Though Tails tells Eggman to calm down, this finally breaks the doctor completely as he goes into a mad and wild rage over simply wanting to live his life.

After his long rant, Eggman reveals the Biolizard to everyone as Shadow's "brother", claiming that "Shadow could've been a true beast". However, the Biolizard is destroyed and Eggman again gets drunk, asking Tails to hand him another bottle of beer as the fox comments on the doctor seriously needing therapy. Eggman is last heard screaming Sonic's name as the hedgehog leaves the space station for not buying him a burrito from Chipolata.

Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)[]

In Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), Eggman appears to have regained much of his sanity after his breakdown in the ARK, instead focusing on building a new 'battle royale' game using Princess Elise. He first appears trying to lure Elise onto his ship before Sonic whisks her away to safety. Eggman manages to kidnap her and holds her hostage. Eggman then approaches Shadow and Rouge on his battle bus and ambushes them with his robots, but retreats once Memphis is released from the amiibo. Later on, Eggman approaches Sonic and Tails rescuing Elise whilst denying his request to play PUBG, proclaiming "Tetris 99's where it's at".

Eggman then kidnaps Elise again and lures Sonic, Tails and Knuckles to his lair, requesting to have the team's Chaos Emerald, or else he'll turn Elise into a Minecraft character. However, he sends all three of them into Fortnite and explains his plans to Elise to create a new game with her as his personal beta tester. After Elise escapes him, he kidnaps her again.

Shadow is later seen breaking into Eggman's ship and confronting the latter, who reveals that he created Shadow to star in his battle royale game, which technically makes Eggman Shadow's father (and that Shadow technically fucked his own mother, making the last dub horrifying). Eggman is later seen persuading Elise not to jump off his ship or he'll push her off, but she jumps off and Sonic saves her, but Eggman captures her again. After Elise retorts back to him, Eggman calls her out as useless without him. The doctor then goes to log on to his Fortnite account, but it is revealed that it's in the process of being hacked, making him screech in anger. However, his Fortnite game is deleted and he crashes his ship.

When Sonic is accidentally killed by Mephiles, he is transported to another realm alongside everyone else after Mephiles became Solaris, asking the latter (who he mistook for God) to take him like how he took Sonic. After Solaris' death, Eggman and everyone else is freed from the realm and return back to normal.

Sonic Riders[]

After his failure to make his battle royale game, Eggman arrives at the Avian bird convention eight miles above the ground to discuss with Jet the Hawk, Wave the Swallow, and Storm the Albatross about a cube in Jet's hands, which Jet reveals to be his Gamecube. Eggman tells Jet to give him the Gamecube, and while Jet offers to sell it, Eggman's only response is to overwrite Jet's saves and replace them all with Sonic. Surprisingly, Jet isn't upset by this action, even going so far as to call Sonic beautiful, though he considers his skateboard to be more beautiful than the hedgehog.

Eggman broadcasts his new vlog, whereupon he showcases his new product, the Gamecube 2, taunting Shigairo Mayamo (who is Knuckles) in the process. Eggman's vlog also reveals that he'll be holding a race and it'll be related to the Gamecube 2 in some way, but he gets sidetracked by the diamond he plans to give to his new husband and/or wife and coming out as bisexual, so his vlog closes before he can explain the relation between his race and the Gamecube 2.

During the Babylon Rogues' practice for the race, Wave hacks into Redbox in hopes of extending the deadline for Grown Ups 2, only to find out that Eggman was not only controlling Redbox the whole time, but actively preventing people from returning their movies on time. On top of that, Eggman intends to promote the Gamecube 2 through Grown Ups 3, which he plans to make with an angel's wing, his mathematics on blocking, and none other than Adam Sandler.

After that revelation, the Babylon Rogues destress by riding their skateboards to the Great Colosseum in the Middle of the Desert, where Jet and Sonic each place a Chaos Emerald on the pedestal alongside the other five, confusing and worrying Eggman in the process. After Jet wins the race and claims the Gamecube 2, he uses it and the Chaos Emeralds to dig up Pompeii, and then Eggman takes the Gamecube 2 for himself and flies toward Pompeii, but not before Amy manages to hitch a ride in his car.

Despite Sonic's attempts to pursue Eggman through Pompeii, Eggman (on a little scooter) makes it to the doors in which he figures Adam Sandler is locked. Sonic tries to see Adam Sandler first. Despite Eggman's attempts to hold Amy hostage and open the doors with the Gamecube 2, Sonic whips up a tornado with his skateboard and blows both Eggman and Amy away. Sonic grabs the Gamecube 2 in the process, but decides to give it to Jet.

Once the Babylon Rogues and Team Sonic are in the Redbox Matrix and meet Adam Sandler, they find the leaked script for Click 2, which makes Eggman feel like Happy Gilmore. Eggman and Sonic have a short banter about that quip before Eggman tells the lot of them to give him the Click 2 script, which Jet just hands over to him. Eggman opens the script, only to find that it's a IKEA rug. In truth. the rug is signed by Adam Sandler, and this revelation makes Eggman ecstatic because he could sell it for millions of dollars and can thus retire from his job chasing hedgehogs. Unfortunately, Eggman passes out before he can do anything with the rug, making everyone believe he has died, and Tails gets the mantle of Dr. Eggman thrust upon him by Sonic.

The real Eggman is revealed to be alive, having spent a five year time-skip at Harvard to get his life together, though he still can't find the feet pics he's looking for. Team Sonic and Jet barge into his dorm, wherein Knuckles threatens Eggman with his "nipple knuckles", leaving the doctor unimpressed. Tails admits that he's not actually Eggman, prompting the latter's Tails impression, which (in turn) prompts Knuckles' "you're a bitch" impression.

Eggman explains that he used a piece of his brain to control the machine at MeteorTech and, by extension, the tire robots. Unfortunately, his IQ had risen from watching so much Rick and Morty, which meant that his robots gained sentience. Eggman also reveals that he (somehow) has tentacles, which leaves everyone impressed yet disturbed.

Later on, Storm brings a couple of tires containing hit clips to Jet, only for Eggman to steal the hit clips from under the Babylon Rogues' beaks, getting ready to start some discourse. With the tires, he tries to put the Click 2 hit clips into the National Archives, only to get interrupted by the Babylon Rogues and Team Sonic, activating all the tire robots in the process. The tire robots take the tires containing the rings to Pompeii, and Eggman warns everyone that they have to get the Xbox containing the Rings of Friendship back while he stays behind and fixes his rig, but not before calling Sonic out for being a bitch. Unfortunately, the tire robots successfully cause the chaos Eggman wanted regardless, and thus the doctor peaces out before he can get any comeuppance for his actions.

Shadow the Hedgehog[]

Two years before the events of the video, during the events of Sonic Heroes, Eggman finds Shadow and keeps him in stasis. He creates clones of Shadow in an ongoing plan to take over Apple Inc, along with a conquest to take over Hell. He also forms a crippling gambling addiction.

In the present, he too tries to usurp Satan and become ruler of Hell when he invades Earth. He turns the sky fuchsia red and kills Deku trees in an attempt to gain sin points. He is ultimately defeated and killed by Shadow, but is brought back when Satan resets the timeline for the first time.

During the second loop, he launches an assault and kills a bunch of people to wrack up sin points. Shadow attempts to kill him so he can gain all of his sin points for himself. Shadow and Omega battle Eggman, and Omega absorbs a bunch of Eggman's sin. The three end up in Hell, with Eggman piloting his hell spider. He decides to use gambling as his sin. It backfires as Eggman drops a bomb and the spider explodes. Shadow takes the sin of gambling for himself and kills Eggman again. Satan resets the timeline again after Hell was destroyed in the fight.

During the third loop, Shadow rewrites the Constitution and gives furries the right to vote. After seeing someone in a Bowser cosplay at the ballots, Eggman tries to stop Shadow, only to be killed immediately. The timeline is reset one more time after this.

In the fourth and final loop, Shadow breaks every bone in his rib cage, but spares Eggman. He and the others arrive during the final battle to aid Shadow, witnessing Satan's mental breakdown over his self-proclaimed friendship with Shadow. Eggman and the others call him out for being para social and acting like he knows everything about Shadow and that they are actually friends based solely on his Twitch streams. He and the others are frozen completely, aside from their vocal cords.

Shadow defeats Satan and his dog, and takes his giant comet to Eggman's piss laser. The laser destroys the comet and Eggman references the SA2 fandub and mentions his super duper laser piss. Everyone applauded Eggman for making the reference and runs away before he is forced to say it again.

Personality[]

HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING ABOUT MY FUCKING DICK AGAIN!?!? OH MY GOD, WHEN I SEE YOU, IT'S ON SIGHT! IT IS ON S-
~ Eggman threatening Shadow after he talks about his dick to Rouge.

For all intents and purposes, Eggman is unstable, deranged, unhinged, constantly angry and resentful to just about anyone who gets on his bad side. He is loud, boisterous, and obnoxious to even those working under him, to the point where they secretly rebel against him if he's not around and mock him. Eggman's primary goal is to achieve the Chaos Emeralds and kill Sonic and his friends, so he is therefore not above threatening the lives of others for any small reason, demonstrated when he threatened to kill Shadow for banging his wife and then (somehow) kill him again.

WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER.COM!?!?!?
~ Eggman raging after seeing his leaked nudes on Twitter.

Eggman's sanity slippage is immediately obvious in the beginning of the Dark Story segment of the dub; he was being contained within a G.U.N facility for three years, with robots that eventually become sentient and slowly learn his name. He becomes even more enraged when he enters the building again, instantly targeting the robots who had previously tormented him. Eggman is also incredibly vengeful, mainly due to most of the main cast of characters having sex with his wife behind his back, and in the case of Shadow, posting it online for everyone to know about. Even when the slightest things happen in his life, such as Sonic "fucking his crops" and Sonic being on the same phone line as the villains, he seeks to kill him due to these minor inconveniences.

Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up! Everybody's fucked my wife!
~ Eggman ordering Knuckles to shut up after learning he too banhed his wife.

Eggman is also clearly addicted to Twitter, having seventy alternate accounts all named "EggFucker", but with many different numbers. After basically every character had sex with his wife at the end of the dub, Eggman goes on a drunken rant, calling his wife a "thot" who was never satisfied with being pleasured, and just wanting to "live his life" before having a breakdown. Eggman is eventually too drunk to continue his plot after the end of the Sonic Adventure 2 dub, asking Tails for a drink.

In the Sonic 06 dub, Eggman is noticeably more intelligent, as well as less drunk and raging. He now appears to be addicted to Fortnite as he once had for Twitter, and his grand plan was to just make a new battle royale fighting game similar to the aforementioned game. He now carefully executes his plans and doesn't yell at anyone in anger; instead, he acts near-polite while in the presence of just about everyone he meets. He also shows delight in finding out that Sonic is dead, but is later impressed with the latter's skills when it came to killing Solaris.

Upon his return in Shadow the Hedgehog Goes to Hell, he reveals he has committed so many sins and killed so many people he quite literally became King of Hell, but achieved a gambling addiction as a result. He also has an immense hatred of furries, as seen by his disgust at Shadow after seeing a Bowser fur suit when he went to go vote during the elections, telling the hedgehog he has a lot of explaining to do. That said, he manages to do the unthinkable and redeem himself by helping Shadow defeat Actual Satan, telling him to "watch out for that son of a bitch", and showing disgust at the latter's parasocial relationship with Shadow, outright telling him that he needs to log off, as well as warning Shadow, Rouge, and Omega against forming a gambling addiction like himself.

Quotes[]

Sonic Adventure 2 and the Limits of Man[]

Hero Story[]

That's right, Sonic! I'm taki- I mea- oh, wait, Sonic isn't here. Knuckles, I'm taking your emeralds!
~ Eggman about to steal the Master Emerald from Knuckles and Rouge.
Eggman:' What the actual shit!? WHERE DID AMY GO!? SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!'Tails: Eggman, come over here!
Eggman: I'M GOING TO- AAAHHH, MY
BONES! Ugh, I knew I should have used- (starts coughing) Why are you doing this?! I said why are you-
Tails: HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!
Eggman: OH MY GOD! That's it! I'm calling the police! 911, I'm under atta-
Tails: I
AM THE POLICE!
Eggman: (vomits in shock and rage)
~ Eggman during his first fight against Tails.
It would seem that you bitches have come to a standstill in Tarzan's forest. You have thirteen seconds before the island fucking explodes, you Hot Topic wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch! You have done nothing but destroy my life, I hope you both die.
~ Eggman before detonating the island Sonic and Shadow are escaping from.
Hehehe, hey everyone! Guess what? I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you, I'm keeping the stocks. That's right you ugly little girl, I hate you, and your stupid nose, I'm taking everything from you, give me your phone! I'm taking over Victoria's Secret, I'm taking over Best Buy, the News is mine, and everyone else can leave, you see that planet!? I'M TAKING IT TOO! It looks like a fucking walnut! BLAM, and it busted a nut! Then and there! Hahahahahaha, AHAHAHAHAHAHA, AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! Now, DIE! (...) Fuck you. Moon, you never had the cheese I wanted! (...) I hope you're ready to die, It's gonna be like Evangelion, get the fuck out.
~ Eggman's other Moon-destroying speech.
Now, I will control the universe! And everyone will be able to watch (quietly) Splatoon 2 let's plays (normal voice) by Eggman!
~ Eggman's ultimate goal.

Dark Story[]

Intercom: There is a man trying to break into this place. Lock him in so he'll starve. This is the most logical course of action.
Eggman: Did you see that hot JPEG footage that was just- (fires gunshots, then laughs) Oohoohoo, baby! I'm gonna blow the walls off of this place! Goin' UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP! (plummets down)
~ Eggman's first attempt at escaping the building.
Eggman: IT'S BEEN SEVENTEEN DAYS. I still haven't gotten out of here-

Robot: Please stop. Ouch, ouch.
Eggman: Oh my God, if you say "please stop" one more time, I'm going to piss my own ass! Get out of my way! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

~ Eggman 17 days later.
Whuh- how did you know my MIDDLE NAME?!
~ Eggman panicking in response to the robots recognizing his middle name.
Ohohohoho! Who is this red-striped mohawk- why you got hot sauce on yo' head, cuz? What's wrong?
~ Eggman upon seeing Shadow for the first time.
Eggman: Wow! I'm gonna have to use that to get into your social security ACCOOOUNT- Shadow the Hedgehog, please join me by my side and we shall, uh, rule the earth together! Hohaha! You can stand by me, Dr. Eggman, even though my BODY used to be a regular shape!
Shadow: Yeah? Well, no. You're fat. Lol. Get rekt, you fat scrub man. I'm gonna go fuck your wife now.
Eggman: WHAT!? You are not ALLOWED to fuck my wife! Shadow, come back here right now! Shadow! WHAT THE FU-
~ Eggman after Shadow told him he's gonna go bang his wife.
Martha, what have you been tweeting about..... WHAT THE FUCK!? IS THAT'S SHADOW'S DICK!?!?
~ Eggman seeing Shadow's dick on Twitter.
Shadow: Well... I've learned so much from his Twitter. Guess there's only one thing to do now.
Eggman: I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK MY WIFE!
Shadow: And I did anyway. What'cha gonna do, binch? As you can see, Twitter went through a bunch of updates. This one is the one that makes me go away from yo bitch ass.
Eggman: I'm going to kill you... (
small silence) And then kill you again.
Shadow: Anyway, now that I have this emerald, I'm gonna put it right in there! (
throws emerald into slot)
Computer: DRAMA DETECTED. LOCKING ACCOUNT.
Eggman: MY FOLLOWER BASE!
Shadow: And yet they still can't figure out how to get Nazis off their site.
Eggman: You son of a bitch. I'm gonna log on to your Twitter and I'm gonna tell everyone about what you said.
Shadow: Go ahead. I have 50 alternate accounts. My finger's right on top of the delete button, Eggman. What are you gonna do to stop me? With your long, toothpick legs?
Eggman: Hehehahahahahaha... You fool! I have SEVENTY ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS! YOU WILL NEVER KNOW MY MAIN!
Shadow: Are you referring to EggFucker1, EggFucker2, EggFucker-
Rouge: Hey bitches, what's up? Eggman, I found your weed supplier through your Twitter account. Thanks, man.
Eggman: I told you, I have alternatives!
Rouge: Anyway, I also saw that this guy over here fucked your wife. That sucks a lot, dude. You must be, uh, pretty shaken up about that.
Eggman: How do you think I feel about being cucked by a HEDGEHOG!?
Rouge: Well, it might upset you to know that I also fucked your wife. [pulls out Chaos Emerald]
Eggman: AND SHE HAD A DIAMOND IN HER VAGINA!?
Shadow: Good job.
~ Eggman confronting Shadow (and later Rouge) over fucking his wife.
Eggman: Alright, since Team FurAffinity fucked my wife, I'm going to have both of you be a part of my team. Why is the camera zooming in!?
Rouge: I mean, I guess that's fine, as long as I get my weed back, I don't really care.
Shadow: I don't have a character motive.
Eggman: Listen! We're going to explore this island. You're going to find Sonic! He has all the weed that you need. The gonja, the Mary Jane, Marij Jamij! All in his pockets! He is your local drug dealer, and I am going to blow the island. Now go look for Sonic, and hurry up, you... fucking... cuckhogs!
~ Eggman forming his team with Shadow and Rouge, all while breaking the fourth wall.
All around me are familiar Eggmans, worn-out Eggmans, worn-out Eggmaaans... Bright and- I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN!!!!!! OH MY GOD, I'M SO SICK! OHHH NO THEY KNOW, NOT AGAIN!!!
~ Eggman singing his version of "Mad World" before realizing that he's back in the military base again.
🎵 There goes Hawaii, there-there-there goes Hawaii, oh, there goes to Hawaii, the island is gone! There goes Hawaii- 🎵
~ Someone that might be Eggman singing as the island is being destroyed.
Eggman: What are you two fucking talking about?!
Rouge: Fucking your wife again. And peeing in a Hot Topic, because, you know, what else do you do on a Saturday night?
Shadow: I peed on your wife, Robotnik. She's mine now. That's the law.
Eggman: What the actual SHIT?! WHAT?!
~ Shadow reveals to Eggman that he pissed on his wife, much to the latter's outrage.
Eggman: (awkwardly stumbles around the ARK) Ugh, God... URGH. What the fuck happened last night? Wha- wha-
Shadow: You pissed on the moon, Eggman.
Rouge: We're really worried about you. This is an intervention. We're here to help you.
Eggman: What are you talking about? I didn't piss on the moon-
Shadow: When you piss on the moon! Look at the moon! It's in half now from how hard you pissed on it! I'm telling you, this has been a problem for a long time.
Eggman: I did nothing, s- I- I ju- I woke up, and-
Rouge: You did, you pissed on it!
Shadow: Listen, we're doing this because we care about you and your wife.
Rouge: Yeah, you pissed on it, and then you cursed out Obama! It was, like, really bizarre.
Eggman: Obama is a... strong figure to the America-
I would never say such a thing! No way! I'm gonna log onto my Twitter-
Rouge: Uh, it's right here on the news! They-
Eggman: What the fuck?! WHY DOES TAILS HAVE ALL THE FUCKING WEED?! WHY DOES HE HAVE THE WEED?! WHY IS MY BODY DOING THIS THING?! I'M LIKE A PUPPET ON A STRING!
(makes weird noises) YA SEE THAT?! LOOK AT THAT! I put the thing, then I pull it out, and then (grunts strangely) pull it out again. And then I look at you and I'm like (grunts even more). Okay, I'm logging onto Twitter. I'm gonna- like, um- Imma see what's up. Okay, everybody- shut up, shut up, shut up. Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Rouge: None of us were talking, Robotnik.
Shadow: I can't believe he went into his intervention drunk.
Rouge: Well, sometimes it just be like that.
~ Eggman denying responsibility for pissing on the moon.
Why is Sonic on the same line as the VILLAIN LI-
~ Eggman berating Shadow for talking to Sonic.

Last Story[]

Eggman: She fuckin- he fuckin- she- they fucked my wife! The animals fucked my wife! Then everybody fucking left because the fucking ship was gonna be destroyed. She was able to escape because I designed a robot that would be able to pleasure her in such an intense way, that I would be able to finally fuck her! But it didn't happen! Because she decided to become a furry fucker, and fucked the whole Sonic the Hedgehog and Shadow Team, which didn't even fucking matter because then it went into a new ark AND THEN SHE FUCKED THE WORLD. THE WORLD WAS HER NEXT TARGET, BECAUSE HER JUSSY WAS NOT EVEN PLEASED ENOUGH. SO SHE HAD TO HOE HERSELF OUT, AND BE THE BIGGEST THHRRRRRRRROT THAT YOU'VE EVER SEEN. The world. Is going to be destroyed. Right now. I'm logging off.

Rouge: You shouldn't talk to your wife that way!
Eggman: I don't give a flying fuck, that bitch can fuck off, I've divorced her ass three hours ago! I'm so sick, my body is doing things, that thing! And you over there? Shut up. And you? Take off my pants! YOU WANNA SEE SOME... WEIRD SHIT?!
Tails: Eggman, you need to calm down!
Eggman: I AM-I'MMMMM TIRED OF BEIN' CALM ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! I WANNA LIVE MY LIFE! AND YOU! YOU, YOU, YOU. I'M SO SICK OF YOU.

~ Eggman's final villainous breakdown.
You shall revel in nothing but destruction. Shadow could've been a true beast — and now you shall die!'
~ Eggman reveals the Biolizard to the heroes.

Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) and the Growth of an Industry[]

Sonic: Haha, ha, one! Come on,, Elise!

Eggman: Sonic, where do you think you're going, you motherfucking... AHH, HE'S COCKBLOCKING ME, GET HIM!

~ Eggman seeing Sonic for the first time.
Shadow, you are my greatest creation of all time for the battle royale.
~ Eggman reveals that he created Shadow, and by extension - is his father.
Eggman: How many times are you gonna run? I've captured you 17 different times!
Elise: I feel like it's gonna be at least 18.
Eggman: ...The caucasity of this bitch. You run and run. I am an ALPHA MALE GAMER. She be like "This asshole..." I love
Fortnite. Without me, you wouldn't even exist! Without me, you wouldn't be able to contain the demon because of gaming! Look around you, imagine: dragons. Now, imagine it. Gaming, on Fortnite BR.
Elise: I'm imagining the ocean, because, I've established that when I don't want to be somewhere, that's what I think of.
Eggman: Frank Ocean can't save you now, sweetheart.
~ Eggman reveals his plans to Elise.
Eggman: If someone hacked into my Fortnite account, I'm going to have a birth of cactuses out of my asshole.
Eggman's Computer: Currently being hacked.
Eggman: (DEMONIC SCREECHING)
~ Eggman discovering his Fortnite account has been hacked.
GIVE ME BACK MY GAMER GIRL, SONIC!!!!!
~ Eggman after Sonic recuses Elise.
(Evil laugh) ...cock.
~ Eggman upon being transported to another realm by Solaris.
Finally, God, take me. I want it now. Give me death. kust like Sonic.
~ Eggman seeing what he thinks is God after being trapped in another realm by Solaris.
I am now Sans Undertale, go into my eyes.
~ Eggman uses his eye-tech to turn into Sans.

Sonic Riders[]

Jet: How the fuck did you get up here? We're, like, eight miles off the ground!
Eggman: Uh, I've- I've, y'know, I just-
Chase: (interrupting) HE'S SO BIG!
Eggman: I-I-I flew! I'm very tall, I am at least seven-foot-one and I will step on each one of you like eggs.
~ Eggman meets Jet the Hawk.
My knuckles are the size of God!
~ Eggman.
Eggman: (cracking up) Fuckin', outta here!!
(the dubbers start laughing)
Chase: LOOK AT HIS LITTLE SCOOTER!
Eggman: I gotta
go. Oh, this car-
~ Eggman escaping from Sonic, Jet and their Teams.
So it all started here. I was building all of these robots, and then I had bought at least four to five Apple watches on the same day. And then, something happened. In the middle of the lab, as the robots were working at it, there was some sort of bright resource coming from the middle. And I had to go check it out, I had to see what it was. And little did I know, it was a tiny piece of my braincell, that I put inside of the machine so that way it could function around my mental main- men- my mental! My brain?! [beat] As you can see, I'm still missing the brain piece. [The others crack up.] I haven't gotten it back.
~ Eggman explaining the rise of his robots.

Gallery[]

Trivia[]

  • Eggman's "pissing on the moon" rant has reached meme-status and is considered to be the best moment of RTFG.
    • Immediately after said rant, the cast paused to make sure that the footage wouldn't get corrupted or lost in any way, as well as to catch their breaths from all the laughter.
    • Additionally, the Dark + Final Story of the Sonic Adventure 2 dub is the most viewed video on SnapCube's channel.
    • In fact, at the end of the Sonic '06 dub, Alfred attempts to redo one of the rant's lines due to being dared to do so by Ryan (Shadow's voice actor), specifically the line "I'm PISSING ON THE MOON!" in his Eggman voice, but gets cut off by the cast's laughter.
    • In the Shadow the Hedgehog episode, where the "Super Laser Piss" Joke returns in this episode. Eggman stated that he won't doing that joke again, then Knuckles harasses Eggman about making a "Pissing on the moon" joke once more. This references a fan harassing Alfred for making more "Eggman Pissing on the moon" memes.
  • Eggman's voice actor Alfred had never played Sonic Adventure 2 prior to providing Eggman's voice for the dub, and thus wasn't aware of many things in the game that he accidentally predicted, such as Eggman blowing up Prison Island and the Biolizard's origins.
  • Throughout the first dub, Eggman's dick is mentioned numerous times, and Shadow reveals that it looked like "every single Tetris block at once". He also mentions to Rouge that the real thing is far worse compared to the photo-shopped ones she leaked on Twitter.
    • Sonic comments on Eggman's dick, calling it 'Lovecraftian'.
  • Eggman stands at around 7'1".
  • Eggman revealed himself to be bisexual.
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