Jabba the Hutt

Jabba the Hutt was a fat slug who ran vice in the Outer Rim Territories. He led with an iron but slimy fist and was based on the desert planet of Tatooine. He ruled the Outer Rim underworld for several years but his reign was ultimately brought to an end by a rebel named Princess Leia.

The Hutts were notorious gangsters and Jabba was the most infamous of them all. He ran an extensive operation that included slavery, spice-smuggling, and extortion. He employed large numbers of smugglers and bounty hunters to carry out his operations. Thats how I came to be in his service if you will.

Running a notorious smuggling ring is a large and dangerous undertaking. Jabba hired a contingent of Gamorrean guards to protect his palace as well as a number of Twileks. The males he used to oversee many of his operations while the women were used as slaves to satisfy his appetites. Jabba also kept a rancor for a pet beneath his throne room for those unwanted and unwelcome guests who arrived from time to time.

Jabba did enjoy company; however, and threw lavish parties for his friends. Oddly enough, the worm was a music lover and many great musicians played at the palace. The most famous of these musicians was Max Rebo whos hit; No, I am not an Elephant went to the top of the intergalactic charts.

Hutts love pod racing and Jabba himself watched Anakin Skywalker, only 8 years old at the time, win the pod race at Boonta Eve. Anakin was the first human ever to win a pod race. Young Skywalker was the best pilot in the galaxy and he would eventually go on to be a great Jedi before turning to evil. I was working for Anakin who had changed his name to Darth Vader by that point when Han Solo fell into my grasp.

Jabba would one day meet Anakins son Luke Skywalker through his dealings with through one of his smugglers, Han Solo. Han Solo was a handsome smuggler who flew what he called, the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy. I have to admit, he made the Kessel run in less than 6 parsecs but I was able to track him down easily enough with Slave 1.

Jabba eventually had a falling out with the smugger; however, after Han was forced to jettison his cargo after running into an Imperial patrol. Jabba, being the generous slug that he is, tried to reason with Han Solo but he just couldnt make the dirty-little smuggler listen to reason. After the cold-blooded murder of Greedo, one of Jabbas collection agents, I was employed to capture Solo. I would also like to clear up a misunderstanding. Contrary to popular legend, Han Solo shot first. Dont pay any attention to revisionist history.

I eventually captured Captain Solo and brought him back to Jabba encased in carbonite. Jabba the Hutt hung his once favorite smuggler on his wall and it became his favorite possession until some of Hans dirty-rebel friends came to rescue him.

Princess Leigh and the wookie, Chewbacca were captured trying to rescue Han Solo. Jabba tossed Han into a cell with the wookie and kept Princess Leia for himself. She never did learn how to appreciate him. Jabba had a way with the ladies. He was a real lady-killer.

Things were going well for Jabba the Hutt. Not long after that, Jabba was able to capture Luke Skywalker as well. The arrogant kid with delusions of grandeur thought that he could use his Jedi mind tricks on Jabba the Hutt, but Jabba was wise to him.

We took Captain Solo and his friends out into the desert to feed them to the dreaded Sarlacc. Jabba loved torture and there is nothing worse than the Pit of Sarlacc, I can tell you that much from personal experience.

Things did not go exactly as planned however. Our luck took a turn for the worst during the execution of Han Solo and his friends. We hadn't realized that one of Solos friends, a fellow scoundrel from the old days named Lando Calrissian, had infiltrated the palace along with two droids. I should have shot Lando on cloud city when I had the chance. One of the droids carried Luke Skywalker's lightsaber and as it turned out, the force was unusually strong with the boy although he was not a Jedi yet.

During the battle, that dirty smuggler Han Solo hit the jump servos on my jet-pack and I crashed up against Jabba's sail barge. But I heard from fellow survivors who had also fallen into the pit that the beautiful slave, Princess Leia had strangled poor Jabba with her own chains and that his sand barge had been destroyed.

-Excerpt from the Memoirs of Boba Fett